10. You stand behind a fourth grader to buy bubble tea.
9. You live on the same block as Captain Picard from Star Trek.
8. Your landlady calls you “Boo.”
7. You shop at Trader Joes because you (at least 25%) believe the Park Slope Coop is a cult.
6. You refuse to sign over your soul to said Park Slope Coop in exchange for cheaper produce.
5. You want the French guy at the French coffee shop to act French already!
4. You see a single man of child bearing age walking on 5th Avenue without a child and want to ask him if he’s lost.
3. You experience a moment of panic when you think you hear one of the many kids from the many schools in the neighborhood say, “Hi Miss Celina.”
2. You simultaneously have an existential crisis and miss the hipsters in Williamsburg when you hear a bunch of really square drunks singing the national anthem outside your window on Saturday night.
And number 1... You were almost run over by a trio of stroller pushing moms coming at you head on (more than once).